Monday, November 15, 2010

Remembrance of times past

At Pacatrue's suggestion, as explained on Robin's blog, a number of us are taking a time machine back to 2008.

My blog really only started in March of that year and took off after I discovered Evil Editor and his minions. So here's one of my early posts where I show a great disdain for the real meaning of Deus Ex Machina so that I can get to a terrible punchline. The post first appeared on 17th March 2008 here.

Evil EditorI found Evil Editor's blog and I think I'm hooked. He offers advice to struggling writers on query letters and there's a whole community of his Evil Minions.

He also offers writing exercises, and I had a go at the latest one: to write a short (300 word) story with a Deus Ex Machina. So here it is:

Jason braced himself against a bulkhead and wrenched at the lever but it was stuck. He looked across at Emily imploringly and she added her strength. Her biceps bulged but the lever stood firm and the door remained firmly closed. Water swirled around their ankles. It was rising fast and would reach the ceiling in less than a minute.

Jason clutched at Emily. "We're going to die!"

She held him in her arms and gazed into his eyes. "There's only one thing we can do."

She reached into her enormous handbag and pulled out a can of WD40. One squirt and the lever came free. They opened the door and scrambled through, then pushed the door shut against the weight of the water.

Now the lever was hanging loose and they could not get the door to stay shut. Water poured through and Jason was shivering with cold and shock.

"If we don't stop the water coming through we're dead," he said.

"Don't panic." Emily reached into her bag and brought out a huge reel of duct tape, then bit off a long strip and handed it to Jason. Between them, they taped the door shut and the flow of water ceased. They slumped down against the sealed door to await rescue.

"How come you had the right stuff in your bag?" Jason asked.

"Everyone knows," Emily replied. "If it doesn't move and it should, you use WD40, and if it moves and it shouldn't, you use duct tape."


PJD said...

Next time you do a voice thingy post, I hope you read this.

fairyhedgehog said...

Thanks, Peter! I may yet do that!

Phoenix Sullivan said...

Oh, such groan-inducing goodness!

So I had a peek back at the original. Look at everyone commenting! No wonder we all loved it there at EE's. And, oh my ... just look at my avatar back then. It looks so young, so foolish, so -- amateur.

Thanks for the memories!

pacatrue said...

Woohoo! Great to see FHH on the bandwagon and I enjoyed reading this again. But... but... I think there's a pun I'm not getting. Waaaaa!

Robin B. said...

Yay!!! Oh, I remember this, in such a good way!

Kate said...

*Chuckle* I love the 300! But the link to your 2008 post isn't working for me. I'll have to try back.

fairyhedgehog said...

Phoenix, I'd go more for "groan-inducing" than "goodness" but thank you. I looked back to the original after reading your comment and it's amazing to see who commented. That really was the beginning of so many online friendships for me. I agree that your current avatar is much nicer - I seem not to have had one at the time!

Paca, thank you! Not so much a pun as a bad family joke I think!

Robin, these really bring back memories, don't they?

Kate, thanks for the heads-up - I'd missed the 'l' off of 'html'. Oops! Should be working now.

McKoala said...

Oh, that would be a great thing to read!

fairyhedgehog said...

Thanks, McK! Congrats on your current success story over at EE's.

Whirlochre said...

This 2008 thing is such a treat — like finding a relative under the floorboards you forgot you'd bludgeoned to death.

Loved that writing exercise.

fairyhedgehog said...

Whirl, that's exactly what it's like!

Mother (Re)produces. said...

Oooooh! Another one I missed the first time around! I liked the ending.
I would love to carry duct tape and WD-40 at all times, but the meaning of such an act might be misconstrued within my small village, so I must be content with my towel.

On another note, does WD-40 come in chocolate? I know quite a few people, including myself, who should move, but don't...

fairyhedgehog said...

MRp, chocolate WD-40! What a great idea! If you get hold of some you must come back and tell us where to get it.

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