Sunday, April 11, 2010

How to make money from writing fiction

I got another Nigerian email today, this time from someone in Australia. A lovely lady had just got $1.5 million (USD) from a Nigerian bank and assured me that my email address was on the list for having contract money owed to me too.

I was obviously overjoyed that I'm going to get my contract money paid. Not that I have any recollection of any contracts but then I'm getting older and the Brain Fog is strong in me.

Only one paragraph puzzled me.
You really have to stop your dealings with those contacting you because they will dry you up until you have nothing to left with you.

For someone contacting me to ask me to have dealings with them, this struck me as a little odd.

I'm saving this email to use in a story. Such imaginative fiction shouldn't be allowed to go to waste.


McKoala said...

I wish I knew who fell for these things.

Not me, honest.

Amie McCracken said...

What they should do is pay us fiction writers to write the emails so more people would listen to them. If only those emails had correct grammar and spelling I would probably email them back!

fairyhedgehog said...

McK, I always hope that no one does but then why would they keep on sending them?

Amie, now there's a thought! Mind you, I think it would take more than good grammar to convince me that the Nigerian government owes me money. I'm not that forgetful!

Adam Heine said...

My mom's e-mail got hacked a while back, and the hacker sent an e-mail (pretending to be my mom) saying she was stuck in Nigeria and needed money wired ASAP to get her out. It only worked on one person, but that one person wired a few thousand dollars. For a computer-savvy Nigerian, those are pretty good odds.

But Amie's got a good idea. Next time one of those guys sends me an e-mail from a hacked address, maybe I should offer my services. I wonder how much I could swindle out of them before they realized I was sending them total crap...

fairyhedgehog said...

Adam, that's a nasty variation on the scam and I could imagine falling for that one. We all want to help a friend or relative who's in trouble.

You and Amie have a whole money-making scheme going there. And making money out of the bad guys. Nice.

Old Kitty said...

I read contract as in you've put out a contract for shady men in glasses to er.. cause an accident to someone who has vexed you in the past.


I like the way they warn you against being dried up.

?!?!?! And still there will be someone in this whole planet who will fall for such things. Dear oh dear.

Take care

fairyhedgehog said...

Kitty, it definitely sounds seedy!

Sarah Laurenson said...

There are too many something-for-nothing people in this world who think they can get rich quick... Somehow. And then there are the desparate ones whose financial situation seems to remove brain cells at really important times.

I love the idea of scamming the scammers, but I'd rather not let them know they found a valid e-mail address. I get enough spam as it is.

Interesting that this letter warns you not to do what it's asking you to do. I think it's a reverse psychology - you can trust me because I will tell you not to trust anyone - kind of thing.

fairyhedgehog said...

Sarah, I hadn't thought of the reverse psychology angle. It's sad that the people most likely to fall for this are people who aren't thinking clearly for whatever reason. I hate the thought of people being preyed on.

David F. Weisman said...

I gather it does happen. Someone's gotta publish me quick, before I go bad.

DJ Kirkby said...

These are hilarious, I mean even I'm not that gullible!

fairyhedgehog said...

David, we'd better all petition some publishers now, before temptation gets the better of you!

DJ, you'd have to be either very gullible or very desperate.

Ann said...

I used to get these things on a daily basis. Haven't gotten one in ages though. They are entertaining reading! An irate reply to being dried up might be in order.

fairyhedgehog said...

Ann, they can be very amusing!

PJD said...

Dear, sweet Fairy. Beware the real scam going on here. They clearly anticipated that you, as an intelligent writer, would be tempted to use the email in a story one day. When you do, BOOM they slam you with copyright infringement and plagiarism. It's a nasty, insidious scam. Even if you change it up a bit, they've got you on the derivative work angle.

Be careful.

fairyhedgehog said...

Oh no, Peter! Why didn't I spot that? Now my dreams of writing an award-winning story are in ruins!

Sylvia said...

I'm glad it's not just me that gets a kick out of these. I'll risk an infringement case and post an excert from a long mail I received:

Grand Duke of All Russia Valery Kubarev Big Kubensky (Flavy Valery
Cubara - Jacob Constantine XV) declares the World Gathering descendants
of the Byzantium Emperors, Vikings, Rurik's (Monomachos), Hashemite's,
son of Buddha Rahula, Confucius from dynasty Duke Yansheng, Genghis
Khan, daughters of Miuko from Japan, Incas from America. All of us are
lineal descendants of the God-Father Cub.

fairyhedgehog said...

sylvia, that's utterly brilliant! The spam folder can be a treasure chest of ideas.

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