Friday, April 02, 2010

Have you had sex?

Whether or not you've had sex depends on how you define it. And people have some pretty funny definitions according to Barking Up The Wrong Tree.

What struck me was the statistic that
95 percent of respondents would consider penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) having had sex
What on earth did the other 5% think they were doing?

I also found the first comment very funny; human rationalisation knows no bounds. You can read all about it here.


Old Kitty said...

Good grief it's not yet 9am!


What puzzles me are these news stories one reads now and again where the woman doesn't know she's pregnant until she gives birth.


Take care

fairyhedgehog said...

I can't stop laughing! I didn't mean "this morning" Kitty!

I can't imagine not knowing I was pregnant. Feeling sick, being the size and shape of a rain barrel, and having someone regularly kicking my bladder were all clues that something was up.

Matthew Delman said...

I've watched some of those stories. You'll notice that many of the women who have that experience are not skinny ladies. And in one woman's case, she actually LOST weight instead of gaining it because of her pregnancy.

It's fascinating that women can go through that experience and not know they're pregnant.

Mother (Re)produces. said...

On one level it's funny, but on another, it's kind of depressing that people can be 1) that ignorant and 2) that out of touch with their own body/sexuality.

About those comments; the one who thinks it's only real sex if he comes. I'd hazzard a guess that he's the type of guy who doesn't worry too much about whether or not his partner has an orgasm, but what fun if she does. Would that mean she's had sex and he hasn't? What a concept.

fairyhedgehog said...

Matthew, I can understand that if a woman is already large, she won't see any weight gain. But that's only one of many changes, plus babies tend to wriggle and kick whereas fat deposits usually don't.

MotherRp, taking the sex comment to its logical conclusion, you're right! Which just shows that something about that comment is very wrong.

Whirlochre said...

i 'l get b ack to you .

hang o n .

fairyhedgehog said...

Whirl, your typing seems rather uncoordinated today but I refuse to speculate.

Stacy said...

I too wonder how they can NOT know. Maybe they think the kicking baby is just indigestion???? It troubles me because those babies don't get the prenatal care they need.

Bevie said...

When I worked at the newspaper the local high school had "Forum on Sex" thing for parents, school staff and local medical and religious people.

There, one of the doctors told us that even within 30 miles of a city as large as Minneapolis she had a constant stream of girls who didn't understand why they were bleeding, and at least once every year had a girl who didn't realize she was in her third trimester.

It's not that the girls are necessarily stupid. They're ignorant. Not all mothers talk to their daughters. If nobody tells you I guess you own imagination has to take over.

David F. Weisman said...

They thought if they didn't inhale it didn't count!

Bevie said...

Oh, and regarding the "have you had sex" question: What about this thing called "phone sex" and "cyber sex"?

If it's possible to have sex without touching each other, I wonder how they rationalize away actual intercourse.

Wings in the Night said...

Have I had sex?

Yes. And I count the number of times on one hand, too. lol

P: my verification word was "bedswedu". At first I read it as "bedwetter". I can count the number of times I've done that, too. lol

PJD said...

71 percent and 73 percent considered oral contact with a partner's genitals (OG), either performing or receiving, as having had sex.

I did not know Bill Clinton lived in Indiana. You learn something new every day. Clearly, he's in that other 29%.

fairyhedgehog said...

stacy, it seems weird to me, too. I've never had indigestion that felt like a baby squirming, or where I could put my hand on my belly and feel a foot!

Bevie, that's really sad that girls just don't know basic stuff about their bodies. I thought that was all in the past. I hadn't thought about phone and cyber sex. Goodness knows how you'd classify those.

David, that's so funny. At least Obama admitted that inhaling was the whole point!

Wings, well it clearly depends on your definitions!

Peter, good old Clinton! I can't really blame him for lying about it for as long as he could. I'm so not interested in the sex lives of politicians, it's what they do running the country that matters to me.

Stacy said...

The sad thing is, I'm from Indiana. This and the militia thing in the news has me a little depressed about my home state right now.

Ann said...

OK This is just sad! Are we going backwards!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Maybe that other 5% are the women who had their hymens surgically replaced. Born-again virgins.

fairyhedgehog said...

stacy, I'm sure it's not just Indiana residents who think like this! It just happened to be where the survey was carried out.

Ann, it's definitely a bit perplexing.

Saray, OMG I hadn't even thought of that! I thought it was more like calories not counting if you didn't enjoy the chocolate!

Kate said...

Both these threads are so funny to me, but I know people in both situations:

Regarding the sex definition, I have known men and women who argued that sex is technically the reproductive combination of genetic material from two sources. Thus, they argue that without ejaculation, there is no genetic material exchange, and thus no sex. Of course, this argument is both too technical to reflect common language usage, and not technical enough to account for the fact that genetic material may be exchanged without ejaculation. So I call it bulls***.

The pregnant lady I knew had known she was pregnant early on, but after having cramps and bleeding was told by an ER doctor that she had miscarried. Although she continued to have pregnancy symptoms, she was told over and over again that they were normal post-miscarriage symptoms or psychological or what-have-you. It wasn't until her 8th month that she went to see a doctor again, for GI discomfort, and at that point diagnosis was obviously easy.

For people who never know until delivery, though, I think it's just a matter of odds. Figuring out you are pregnant is a matter of adding up clues: a change in menstrual cycle, nausea, heartburn, otherwise unexplained weight redistribution, pigmentation changes, etc. But no one of these things happen in 100% percent of pregnancies. It follows that in a very small percentage of pregnancies few or none of these things will happen. The only thing that is guaranteed to happen is delivery.

wordver: cookine

fairyhedgehog said...

Kate, I suppose it starts with holding hands or a kiss and ends with a pregnant woman (or can do) and it's a matter of definition where along the line you say sex has happened. For me, though, pregnancy isn't the clincher! (Or else I'd have to say that I've only had sex three times.)

The case where the doctors were adamant that the woman wasn't pregnant is really rather poor. I hate the way doctors always know best, even when they don't!

laughingwolf said...

i never 'have' sex [stupid euphemism] but i do 'have' headaches :P lol

fairyhedgehog said...

laughingwolf, I wouldn't have said it was a euphemism, although the boy in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time does refer to "doing sex"! LOL at the headache joke.

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