Warning: strong language

I've recently seen reference to "the f-bomb" on Critique Circle Forums. I made me think about strong language and what we choose to censor.

When I told my mother I had edited my first draft of a story for her to read, taking out "all the 'f' words", she said, "If I worried about that I wouldn't read anything these days." Yet she hates strong language in conversation.

What puzzles me is the inconsistency. Sometimes on television a character will say "fuck" and it's allowed to be broadcast. Yet a recent trailer for The Colour of Magic had the word "bastard" censored, which to me is a less strong word. Americans seem to use the word "asshole" a lot but to bowdlerise profanity. In the UK, most people see "damn", "hell" and "bitch" as not swearing at all.

I have a high tolerance for strong language but I worry that I will offend other people. In writing fiction, the trick seems to be to write in the voice of one of the characters and use the language he or she would use. Nick Hornby uses this to good effect in A Long Way Down, where the characters each have their own voice and the choice between "fuck" and "f-" depends on which character is currently narrating.

Maybe I want it to be simple when it isn't. What do you think?

Comics for Cats

I liked this variation on Stuff on My Cat. Cats always seem to want to sit on whatever you're reading so the obvious answer is to give them a book of their own.

I wonder if he'd be interested in reading All I Need To Know I Learnt From My Cat. Do you have any other suggestions for books cats might like to read?

Unshelved

Taken from the Unshelved Archives. This is a series of cartoons about the characters in a library. It's well worth going back to the first one and reading all the way through, to see how the characters develop.

I chose my favourite of all the strips to display here although the one where the librarian is persuaded to to say the magic words "pimp my bookcart" was another high spot. I'm now following the story on my Google Reader. I never knew that working in a library could be so much fun.

New science fiction book

Tanya Huff has got a new sci-fi book out The Heart of Valor, available in the US here. It's the third in a series of military science fiction books and I thoroughly enjoyed both the other two: Valor's Choice and Valor's Trial. Sadly the paperback isn't going to be available till June, and doesn't seem to be available in the US at all. I'd rather wait till it comes out as I prefer reading paperbacks, they're easier to hold and you can take them anywhere.

More people may be aware of Huff through her Blood series. I'm currently re-reading Blood Trail . It's pleasant, escapist fiction about vampires and werewolves. She's also written a lot of fantasy books.

I first found Tanya Huff's work through GLBT Fantasy Fiction Resources. It's a good place to go to get hold of some new authors and to read reviews.

A Room of My Own

I never thought I would have a library of my very own. This is the landing in our new house. Although I have to share it with the rest of the family, it feels like having my very own library. The only downside is that we don't have any bookshelves in the living room now, which feels very strange.

I remember seeing Beauty and the Beast by Walt Disney. The Beast woos Beauty not with flowers or chocolates but by giving her a library of her very own. Now that's the kind of guy I could fall for.

Put your coffee cup down now

Browsing the archives at Evil Editor I came across a post about brevity in query letters.

Among the greatest plot distillers in literary history was the guy who determined that only one m needed to be stamped on the side of an m & m. Janice Delaney's legendary query for her history of menstruation, entitled The Curse, consisted of a blank sheet of paper with a period in the center. (This used half as much ink as the previous record, the query for Dr. Jensen's Guide to Better Bowel Care, which was, of course, a colon.)

I take no responsibility for ruined keyboards: the warning was in the title.

As An Alligator

I saw As An Alligator online some time ago and now the author has made it possible to order direct for delivery to the UK. My copy came today and it is even more delightful in real life than it is online. Deanna Molinor kindly agreed to sign it to my sister and has included an alligator in the signature. Her whole site is worth a look and I was very taken with another book of hers: That Story About the Rabbit, which is definitely not a children's story.

Some time later

I've realised that I intended to publish some of the ramblings of Professor Jerome Q Pangbourn, who later became Jeremy Hart in my November novelette. Then I re-read what I'd written. It's amazing the clarity lent to my reading of the text by the length of time since I wrote it. It makes me wonder what I'll think of my current writing when I get enough distance from it to judge it.

Deus Ex Machina

I found Evil Editor's blog and I think I'm hooked. He offers advice to struggling writers on query letters and there's a whole community of his Evil Minions.

He also offers writing exercises, and I had a go at the latest one: to write a short (300 word) story with a Deus Ex Machina. So here it is:

Jason braced himself against a bulkhead and wrenched at the lever but it was stuck. He looked across at Emily imploringly and she added her strength. Her biceps bulged but the lever stood firm and the door remained firmly closed. Water swirled around their ankles. It was rising fast and would reach the ceiling in less than a minute.

Jason clutched at Emily. "We're going to die!"

She held him in her arms and gazed into his eyes. "There's only one thing we can do."

She reached into her enormous handbag and pulled out a can of WD40. One squirt and the lever came free. They opened the door and scrambled through, then pushed the door shut against the weight of the water.

Now the lever was hanging loose and they could not get the door to stay shut. Water poured through and Jason was shivering with cold and shock.

"If we don't stop the water coming through we're dead," he said.

"Don't panic." Emily reached into her bag and brought out a huge reel of duct tape, then bit off a long strip and handed it to Jason. Between them, they taped the door shut and the flow of water ceased. They slumped down against the sealed door to await rescue.

"How come you had the right stuff in your bag?" Jason asked.

"Everyone knows," Emily replied. "If it doesn't move and it should, you use WD40, and if it moves and it shouldn't, you use duct tape."

Under the bed

I'm writing a third novelette at the moment: this time it's science fiction again. I've decided that plotting a story before I start it is probably a good idea. A lot of writers seem to have worked this out a long time ago but I can be a bit slow at times.

I now have two "under the bed" novels, following the advice of the great Miss Snark and I suspect this new one will be the third. I have learnt so much, though, from the process. I think this is the first novelette I will have written that was not poured out during Nanowrimo. I don't know if that will make this one better, worse or simply unfinished.

I'm still trying to edit my last November's offering. Realising that the plot didn't make a lot of sense was a bit of a downer but the story does have some redeeming qualities. I think. I'm grateful to my friends at Critique Circle for helping me to try to make it a bit less abysmal.